Thursday Rant 9/3/15 + The Inaugural Blog

Hey guys! You came here because we're friends on Facebook and maybe kind of real life, or some weirdo who likes ranting and raving shared the link. Either way... Hey guys! Luckily there is no shortage of jerkwads and their jerkwad friends in this world, so I'll have lots to talk about. I don't know what else I'll do with this space, but hopefully you'll dig it. 

Also, all props for how cool this looks (including cartoon ME!) go to my dear friend Erin, who runs the awesome Insannequins. Check her stuff out; she's one of the few people in this world I don't want to punch in the face. 
 
Here's today's rant... now a blog post!

I had a hard time sleeping last night so I'm extra grumpy! Here's what I'm judging this week.

1) Hey, Kim Davis! Hey girl! How's your 15 minutes of fame going? We can all see your plan as plain as the Sally Jesse Raphael glasses on your face. It was originally about how you think that teh gayz are icky... but now it is about money. All the money you can get from your inevitable Tour of Persecution®. All the denim jumpers and cans of Aqua Net and DVDs of Sister Wives you can buy before another heroic martyr decides that they're going to bring an assault rifle to a daycare to protect the children from homos because gun rights are part of Jesus' plan or whatever. So enjoy that pile of money. Get it in ones so you can spread it on your bed and roll around on it with it your fourth husband. And then disappear forever. Because you are the worst, and I hate you. And you know who else hates you? Everyone.

2) Speaking of a person everyone hates, let's talk about Elizabeth Hasselbeck. This week she said that Black Lives Matter is a "hate group," and now it is like... a THING. Like somehow something this bitch said is being picked up and taken as a truth that is universally known. Who even is this person? Like, she's not a journalist... she's some football player's wife and was on Survivor 15 years ago? Bitch, I can name a bunch of hate groups for you if you are having trouble understanding what they are. In fact, I can name a bunch of hate groups who have actually committed heinous acts of violence against the group you are now calling a hate group. But back to my original question.... WHO EVEN IS SHE? Why are we listening to this fembot's opinion about ANYTHING? (Of course, why are you listening to my opinion about anything... but ignore that and hate her instead.)

3)Apparently Kanye West is going to run for president in 2020. I can't freaking wait. All I can hope is the Saint Donald of the Racist Combovers will be running as well, because I want to see that debate. I want to see it so much. It's going to be like that time he said "George Bush doesn't care about black people" and Mike Meyers looked like he was about to die of embarrassment and awkwardness except it will be like, 2 hours long and involve 100% more red-faced screaming. I can't wait. Let the 5 year countdown begin!

4) A big thank you to the Center for Medical Progress for lying and manipulating your videos enough so that 4 of the 6 Planned Parenthoods who donated fetal tissue to research are no longer doing so due to threats and controversy. Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart, and from the hearts of those suffering from birth defects, Parkinson's Disease, spinal cord injuries, and HIV/AIDS (to name a few). And a hearty thanks from all of us who believe in vaccinations and science and a women's right to make her own damn decisions. And by "thanks" I mean "fuck you."

So there it is... I have a blog now.