Dear Ann Coulter,

Oh, Ann. Silly billy Ann. We're going to need to talk about this.

Bless your hateful little heart. You know, we actually don't really disagree on what you're calling out in this tweet. I too find it pretty repulsive that conservatives wring their hands about Israel in an attempt to garner Jewish votes, especially because they are usually declaring the United States a "Christian nation" in the same breath. It's silly pandering, it's disingenuous, and it doesn't even work. But even though we miraculously are sort of (kind of) simpatico on this one little thing, I'm not going to come to your defense.

And do you know why, Ann? Do you know why?

To tell you why I'm going to use a word that I normally don't, because I know it is misogynistic and offensive to a lot of people. But since you delight in offending others and despise feminism, I'm going to go ahead and use it for you.

*deep breath*

It's because you are a grade-A cunt, Ann. You. Are. A. Cunt. It's the best word for someone like you.

*exhales*

Ann, you're just the worst sort of person. You're the kind of woman who calls 9/11 widows freeloaders just so someone will pay attention to you. It is essentially the same as being a Kardashian. You don't care where the attention comes from, and you don't even care that the only attention you receive is negative. You just care that it exists, and you will say anything (literally... anything) to get it. And girl, that is sad as FUCK! You're so sad! So sad and lonely that you go on Twitter and spit vitriol to every group in America, hoping that someone will eventually be mad enough to pay attention. And it worked, honey. I'm writing a blog post right now just for you, and I'm sure you're having fun rolling around in your pile of money... alone.

But that is what happens when you're a cunt, Ann. You end up sad and alone and full of your own poison.

So as one lady to another, I'm going to give you a bunch of unsolicited advice. And I know you won't mind Ann, because cunts give unsolicited advice all the time. My advice is to shut up. Like, forever. Surely you have enough bigot money right now to live comfortably for the rest of your life, so there is no need to call people faggots and retards anymore. There is no need to shove your idiot face into any more Fox News segments. We get it. You hate everyone and you're so totally edgy and totally blond and you're a conservative Gen-Xer's wet dream. But that's probably enough, right? Aren't you tired? Aren't you hungry from keeping your Crypt Keeper figure all these years? Don't you want to cut your hair into a bob and wear a pair of sweatpants and read a Dan Brown novel? I think you do, Ann. So please shut the fuck up. I'm tired of listening to you. We are all tired of listening to you. I bet even you are tired of listening to you. So shut up.

Seriously.

Stop saying words.

Enjoy The Da Vinci Code.

Hate,
Katy