Dear Nicole Arbour,

Hey girl, cool video. Just kidding, you're the absolute fucking worst.

You know what, it isn't even your fat shaming that makes you the worst. It isn't your mildly racist jokes, and it isn't your off-brand Jenna Marbles impression. It isn't your pink hair streaks or your fake nails or even your Canadian accent. You know why you're the worst? You're not funny. You're not remotely funny, girl. Because if you were funny, no one would be offended by your video. Why is South Park a great success? Because it's FUNNY. Why doesn't It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia make me run screaming from the room to write an angry letter? Because it makes me laugh. That's the difference between offensive and hilarious. The ONLY difference. 

Make a joke about 9/11 on 9/12, and if it is funny, people won't hate you. Stand in front of a cement wall and talk about how fat people smell like sausage, and everyone will hate you. If an abortion joke is funny enough, even the most staunch pro-lifer will have a chuckle... but if you pout your lips and roll your eyes and tell fat people to go to the gym because ew they are like, totally so disgusting, you're not being funny. That isn't a joke, girl. That's just you being a bitch. A tragically unfunny bitch.

So please shut up, please stop trying to make comedy happen, and go back to whatever the Canadian equivalent of Hooters is. 

Hate, 
Ms. Rantsypants