Ms. Rantsypants: Thursday Rant 10/1/15

Thursday, October 1, 2015

Thursday Rant 10/1/15

Happy October, haters. Today's rant is going to be about one thing, and one thing only. Sorry, but I just had so much to say. It's about the Planned Parenthood hearings. I just can't NOT scream about it.

Did you guys watch this shit?! Cecile Richards is a hero for a million different reasons, but the biggest this week is that she didn't spit in anyone's face during her testimony. Holy shit. If someone talked to me like that, my eyes would have turned black and I would have levitated, spraying menstrual blood all over their faces while I screamed the scream of a thousand disenfranchised women. But thankfully Cecile Richards is a better person than I am.

At this point, I'm going to assume that you guys all know that this "investigation" is a farce, based on thoroughly debunked videos. If you don't, please stop being an ignoramus and read the news for 30 seconds. It's silly to go on ranting about the millions of billions of lies and fake reports and fucking graphs without a Y-axis, because we all know that this is bibbity-bobbity-bullshit, ok? But I'm going to need to talk about these fucking Congressmen who are running this "investigation." I say CongressMEN, because the people berating a healthcare organization for low income women on Monday were pretty much exclusively Republican men. Can you believe it?!?! The most mature GOP lawmaker was the dude from Tennessee who gave his time to someone else, probably because he infamously pressured his wife and his mistress to have abortions.

And somehow they are all the worst type of men: Interrupting Mansplainers. If you're a lady (particularly an outspoken one), you're immediately going to know what I'm talking about, but if you're a man, you might not have experienced this before. (Unnecessary disclaimer, lest someone accuse me of misandry: I love men. I know and love many men, sluttily and non-sluttily. Shut up.)

So what's an Interrupting Mansplainer, you ask? I'm happy to tell you. In his most unassuming form, he's the guy who asks you what your favorite book is, and when you start to answer he interrupts you to tell you about the genius of Catcher in the Rye. (Side note: I love Holden Caulfield as much as the next person, but if your date idolizes him, RUN. Run as fast as you can.) In his more annoying form, he appears as the guy who loudly interrupts you about a subject you are already an expert on so he can explain it to you (see: Matt Damon interrupting Effie Brown to "school" her about diversity). In his worst form, he's a member of Congress who asks you a belligerent question, and when you try to answer it he immediately starts answering his own question, talking over you and giving false information. In short, it's the kind of man who 20 years ago would have called you "little lady."

There are two types found in the wild: the fake-intellectual and the entitled-asshole. Some are both. Beware. BEWARE.

So now that you can see that shit for what it is, I'd love for you to attempt to watch the PP hearings. Just give it a try. If you're at all sensitive to it, you'll be crying with rage withing 5 minutes. I'll wait.

Here's a tissue. I know. It's infuriating. The esteemed representative from Arizona, Paul Gosar (Republican, can you believe it!?) literally yelled at her for answering a question that he asked her, saying "this is my time! This is my time, so don't interrupt it." And really... that's all you need to know about how this shit went on Monday. This isn't about the moral issue of abortion or misuse of funds or anything close to that. This is about these assholes trying to slap Cecile Richards with their dicks because the thought of a woman having control over her own choices threatens what little is left of their tiny sliver of manhood. How sad. How utterly pathetic.

And because these jackoffs can't bear to feel powerless, because they want to pander to their pro-life constituents, because they choose to believe a libelous video made by a radical group instead of facts, they are willing to cut off healthcare to an estimated 650,000 low income women. That's what they think of you, ladies.

I encourage you to volunteer, or donate, or sign a petition, or help in any way you can.

https://www.plannedparenthood.org/









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